"Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways."
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
advantages of being a boy:
- your boobs don’t get in the way
- no period
- your hormones don’t make you feel like a different person every week
- no childbirth
- penises are fun
- shirts always fit over your chest
- you can walk around topless in summer without being arrested for it
- you store less fat
advantages of being a girl:
- can use your bra as an extra pocket
- which you need because the pockets on your pants are fake
my phone needs to stop autocorrecting omg to OMG i’m not that excited
remember when u were 9 and u were carrying ur little razor scooter and it would hit ur achilles and it felt like the earth was collapsing
"In 20 years I won’t remember today; that scares me."
"Have sex. Have dirty, raunchy sex. Have sex in the bed, on the counter, in the car, in the bathroom. Have it everywhere. Have passionate love making sex. Fuck. Go slow. Gaze into their eyes. Learn every curve and bump on their body. Learn what makes them quiver. Learn what makes them cum the hardest. Feel their body and fall back in love with them. Just have sex."